tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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