she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
