i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
