The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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