If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
