HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
