I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Four minutes until I can fart!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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