so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Everyone says I win the strip club
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
