awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
