I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
