using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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