its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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