he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
