What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
