well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
