Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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