the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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