i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
