She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
