where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
