pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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