u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
