Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
