So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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