Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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