I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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