You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
