I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
