I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This is classic penis vs brain.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
