I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
