So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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