My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
