So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
