you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
