guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
