Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
