I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
