God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am available for nakedness
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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