I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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