we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
