Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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