PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
