watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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