new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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