found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
dude. I can hear the air.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
