i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
