No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
