He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Your cock deserves a montage
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
