I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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