Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
